I close the door<\/p>\n
and feel the handle vibrating<\/p>\n
inside my grip<\/p>\n
a tram is coming along the street<\/p>\n
on the other side of my flat<\/p>\n
taking people to different places<\/p>\n
they want to<\/p>\n
or need to<\/p>\n
reach<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It takes me eight steps to approach the window<\/p>\n
it\u2019s the longest one-way walk possible in this room<\/p>\n
I rest my hands on the windowsill<\/p>\n
the tree leaves below me<\/p>\n
seem to form a green whispering tapestry<\/p>\n
I could step onto<\/p>\n
were I not an inhabitant of the reality I know and was taught<\/p>\n
it\u2019s a broad look from the fourth floor<\/p>\n
while my neighbours\u2019 dog is barking down there<\/p>\n
a threesome going for a walk together<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
while passing through the room<\/p>\n
I forgot to look at objects from the times<\/p>\n
spent in other spaces<\/p>\n
gifts from my international friends<\/p>\n
some of whom I haven\u2019t seen for long<\/p>\n
staring in the faces of the doll and plush animals<\/p>\n
makes me feel cosy and loved<\/p>\n
then suddenly sad<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I miss looking into real eyes<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
underneath there are books<\/p>\n
not enough of them some could say<\/p>\n
but one of the shelves is for<\/p>\n
the borrowed-from-the-library guests<\/p>\n
so the bookscape transforms regularly<\/p>\n
if that\u2019s allowed<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
yet another shelf hosts multimodal literature<\/p>\n
this one goes by its own rules<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
opposite the bookcase there\u2019s the computer screen<\/p>\n
with thousands of words on it<\/p>\n
written by me, my supervisor and my students<\/p>\n
inviting me to engage in the infinite reading editing scrolling<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
still<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
silence is the air in here<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I like to experiment with it<\/p>\n
when I finish work<\/p>\n
I shout out to my sister<\/p>\n
in her home office in the other room<\/p>\n
or invite a friend from across the street<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I play some music<\/p>\n
in a city flat a small speaker suffices<\/p>\n
to fill the whole space with sounds<\/p>\n
I may even dance<\/p>\n
let my body find its way<\/p>\n
through the invisible particles<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
or rain visits me<\/p>\n
rushes loudly through the old pipes outside<\/p>\n
knocks on my window<\/p>\n
and covers it with multiple droplets<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Katarzyna Biela is writing a PhD about theatre and multimodal literature in the Institute of English Studies at the Jagiellonian University in Krak\u00f3w, Poland.<\/p>\n